How the Pandemic is Impacting Working Moms
Although no two parents are the same, emerging research reveals that most working moms are not okay right now. Balancing their careers with pandemic parenting is taking its toll on their mental, physical, and emotional health. Working moms have been doing this for almost a year and are most likely burned out, exhausted, and running on empty.
Our guest experts Dr. Amy Knopf and Dr. Jessica Calarco joined us to discuss just how much working mothers, in particular, have been affected by COVID-19 and share useful tips to help them navigate the struggles.
Key Moments
Listen back to specific questions posed by our moderator Kyndra Cleveland, Ph.D.
(1:25) Why we wanted to have this conversation.
(2:10) Introducing our guest panelists Amy Knopf, Ph.D, MPH, RN, FAAN and Jessica Calarco, Ph.D. and our moderator, Kyndra Cleveland, Ph.D.
(3:42) Can you each start off by briefly sharing a bit about the work that you do and how it relates to the impact of the pandemic on working moms?
(8:20) What is the weight of decisions that many mothers are having to make during this time?
(10:37) Why has this pandemic been so devastating for working mothers in particular?
(13:38) Balance and boundaries. Are they possible?
(17:45) Why self-care alone is not the answer.
(19:18) Jessica, you were quoted in a NY Times article saying, “Other countries have social safety nets; the U.S. has women.” Can you share more about what that means?
(22:17) Let’s talk about solutions. What are some things employers can consider in terms of supporting working parents?
(27:33) What can employers be doing to better support communities of color?
(30:20) What can partners do? Brent in IL asked “how can dads help?” and Kara in Ontario asked if there are any apps or tools that can help couples plan so that things are more equal.
(32:37) A mother asked, “How can I get my family to do things? We’ve tried a chore chart, family meetings, etc. and it’s not working.”
(35:00) How can we adjust our expectation’s of ourselves as parents during the pandemic?
(41:15) Leah in California said: “As an older mom, I’m struggling to have enough energy to have quality interaction with my kids in between working. I miss them.” Let’s talk about quality versus quantity interaction.
(43:13) Even though you said that there are no boundaries, how can you mentally switch from the conscientious, efficient, working-robot to a loving, caring, patient mom within seconds, back and forth?
(48:16) Adriana in Ontario submitted a very poignant question...it was simply, “How. How are we supposed to do this?” So, yeah….how? Love to get your reactions to that.
(54:43) Do any of you consider the "sandwich generation" in your research? Tips for mothers caring also for parents?
(56:49) What is one message you have right now for working moms and all of the people who care about them?
Reflection Questions
Webinars and resources are all well and good, but having a ton of information is only as helpful as you can do something with it. Take a few moments with yourself, your partner, or others in your circle of support to reflect on the following questions and process the insights and tips that stood out most to you.
What is your reaction to the discussion about how it’s not really possible to have work-life balance or typical work and family boundaries during this time? Does this change your expectations going forward?
Our guest expert, Dr. Jessica Calarco was quoted in the NY Times as saying, “Other countries have social safety nets; the U.S. has women.” In what ways does this resonate with you and your experiences throughout the pandemic?
How can you use your privilege to advocate for working moms with less privilege and fewer resources than yourself?
Good parenting may not be “Instagrammable” is an idea that was shared during this discussion. Are there aspects of parenting that you have been engaging in merely because you think you “should” due to societal or other pressures, and how can you use this discussion to re-evaluate what it means to be a “good parent”?
What lessons or values have your children learned from having a closer view of your working life over the last year?
How can you unload the mental load? The mental load is taxing for many working mothers - are there ways that you can delegate some of this to others or simply cut down on the numbers of things you have been carrying mentally or emotionally?
Additional Related Resources
Research Conducted by our Guest Panelists, Dr. Jessica Calarco and Dr. Amelia Knopf
“My Husband Thinks I’m Crazy”: COVID-19-Related Conflict in Couples with Young Children by Jessica McCrory Calarco, Emily Meanwell, Elizabeth Anderson, and Amelia Knopf
“Let’s Not Pretend It’s Fun”: A Mixed-Methods Analysis of Increased Time with Children and Mothers’ Well-Being during the COVID-19 Pandemic by Jessica McCrory Calarco, Emily Meanwell, Elizabeth Anderson, and Amelia Knopf
Find additional articles and research findings at Dr. Jessica Calarco’s website: http://www.jessicacalarco.com/
Recommendations from Our Guest Panelists
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. and Amelia Nagoski, DMA (Ballantine Books)
The authors speak to a lot of the key ideas of their book in this interview: Brené with Emily and Amelia Nagoski on Burnout and How to Complete the Stress Cycle an episode of the podcast Unlocking Us with Brené Brown
The Coronavirus Is Erasing Minority Women from the Workforce by Diane Coyle (The New York Times)
Parenting In The Pandemic: Why The Struggle Is Real For Black Mothers by Frankie Robertson (Essence)
America's Mothers Are in Crisis by Jessica Grose (The New York Times)
The 11 Best Apps to Help You Split the Mental Load with Your Spouse by Audrey Goodson Kingo (Working Mother)
Additional Related Articles
The New York Times The Primal Scream Series:
Working Moms Are Struggling. Here’s What Would Help. by Claire Cain Miller
How Society Has Turned Its Back on Mothers by Pooja Lakshmin
Three American Mothers, On the Brink by Jessica Bennett
Battling Pandemic Blues: How Managers Can Rally the Troops by Rachel Feintzeig (The Wall Street Journal)
Pandemic hit academic mothers especially hard, new data confirm by Katie Langin (Science)
3 Women Of Color On What Drove Them Out Of Their Jobs During The Pandemic by Monica Torres (HuffPost)
When Schools Closed, Americans Turned to Their Usual Backup Plan: Mothers by Claire Cain Miller (The New York Times)
Bite-Sized Excerpts from This Webinar
Why is the pandemic so hard on working mothers?
What can the pandemic teach us about what working moms need?
How do we address the economic issues working mothers face?
You Are Not the Working Mom You Were Pre-Pandemic
Good Parenting May Not Be Instagrammable
A Reminder for Mothers with Privilege
Our Kids Notice When We Love Our Work
Leaving the Workforce Isn't a "Choice" for Some Mothers
Meet Our Guests & Moderator
Amy Knopf, Ph.D, MPH, RN, FAAN
Dr. Amy Knopf is a nurse scientist with a broad background in clinical trials and public health. She has specialized training and expertise in community-engaged research, adolescent health, social network analysis, and qualitative research methods. Her research focuses on the ethical implications of including marginalized populations in clinical trials. She is currently a co-investigator on an NIH-funded RADxUP grant which focuses on increasing COVID-19 testing in Latinx and justice involved populations. She is also co-Principal Investigator on the Pandemic Parenting Study, which examines the challenges and experiences of a cohort of Indiana mothers as they navigate the COVID-19 pandemic.
She is co-chair of the Adolescent Medicine Trials Network for HIV Interventions (ATN) Bioethics Working Group, and sits on several department, university, and community advisory boards that focus on diversity, equity, and inclusion. Her work has informed the World Health Organization’s international guidelines for sexual and reproductive health interventions and has been cited by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, U.S. Department of State, the NIH Clinical Center Department of Bioethics, and the National Institute for Child Health and Human Development. She was recently inducted as a Fellow in the American Academy of Nursing and was awarded a visiting residency in bioethics at the Brocher Foundation. In December 2020, she was appointed to a National Academies of Science, Engineering, and Medicine Committee to improve the representation of women and underrepresented minorities in clinical trials and research.
Jessica Calarco, Ph.D.
Jessica Calarco is an associate professor of sociology at Indiana University. Her work focuses on inequalities in education and family life. She is the author of two books, A Field Guide to Grad School: Uncovering the Hidden Curriculum (Princeton 2020) and Negotiating Opportunities: How the Middle Class Secures Advantages in Schools (Oxford 2018).
Part of her research considers inequalities in family decision-making. This includes mixed-methods work on how pandemic-related disruptions to families’ paid work and childcare arrangements are contributing to conflict between mothers and their partners and also undermining some mothers’ well-being. This area of research also incorporates work on mothers’ health decision-making, including decisions about diet and nutrition, alcohol use, vaccine use, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, and screen time.
Kyndra Cleveland, Ph.D.
Dr. Kyndra Cleveland is a Doris Duke Fellow and Membership Chair of the Executive Committee for the Child Well-Being Research Network. She received her M.A. and Ph.D. in developmental psychology from the University of California, Irvine, and serves as a Research Scientist at UCLA. She has a decade of research experience with children and families and seeks to improve relations between courts and families through translational research, policy, and practice.
Dr. Cleveland serves as an expert consultant for the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services and the American Bar Association. Her work has been funded by agencies including the Children’s Bureau, the National Science Foundation, the Ford Foundation, and the Society for the Psychological Study of Social Issues. Through her research, she seeks to center the voices of parents and families, promote social justice, and engage legal systems to improve transparency and overall fairness in court practices.
Pandemic Parenting is a collaboration between two psychologists, scholars, and moms committed to sharing their expertise and research in ways that are immediately accessible and useful to families. Learn more about Dr. Amanda Zelechoski and Dr. Lindsay Malloy.