Talking to Kids about COVID-19
Let’s talk about talking. When it comes to talking about something as big, uncertain, and heavy as the pandemic… how do we talk to kids about all that in a way that’s helpful and not harmful?
In our latest Pandemic Parenting Exchange webinar Talking to Kids about COVID-19, Dr. Lindsay Malloy and Dr. Amanda Zelechoski addressed questions around parent-child conversations including: Should we talk with our kids about COVID-19? How do we do so without traumatizing them? What are developmentally appropriate ways to handle their tough questions?
Watch the recording below to see insights from Dr. Malloy’s latest study, learn research-based approaches to talking with children, and hear examples of conversations with younger, older, and teenage kids.
Key Moments & Shared Resources
Listen back to specific questions posed by our moderator, Lillian Rodriguez Steen. Included below are links that we shared in the webinar’s chat.
Thank you to our sponsor:
(5:18) How can parent-child conversations help children cope with the ongoing stress of the pandemic?
(7:14) Is there a risk of parents traumatizing their child by bringing up the subject of COVID-19? Would it be better if they avoided the topic altogether?
How to Talk with Children About the Boston Marathon Bombs (by Carey Goldberg)
Event-Related Household Discussions Following the Boston Marathon Bombing and Associated Posttraumatic Stress Among Area Youth (by Carpenter et al.)
(10:28) What do the conversations that parents and children are having about COVID-19 look like? Do you have any insights from the data yet?
(14:50) You mentioned some trends in the data suggesting that age is important to consider. Can you give parents some insight as to why things might look different based on age?
Child Development Basics (CDC)
(26:36) How should parents go about raising the subject? Is there a “right” way to do it?
(29:50) Do you recommend having these conversations as a “family unit” or more one-on-one?
(34:18) What are some basic things parents can do to have conversations with their kids about COVID-19 that don’t traumatize them?
(39:19) Are there specific questions that parents should be asking?
7 Prompts That You Can Use with Your Kids
Tell me what you know/think/have heard about “the virus.” (or whatever you call it in your family)
How do you feel about what’s happening with the coronavirus?
What are you and your friends talking about in terms of the COVID situation?
What do you mean by…[term or fact that they used]?
How long have you been feeling…?”
Tell me about some things at school that were the same/different as last year?
What are some things we can do to [feel better, stay safe, connect with loved ones, etc]?
(42:39) Are there questioning techniques that you would recommend?
How to Talk to your Child about Going Back to School (or not going back) this Fall, According to a Psychologist (Dr. Becky Kennedy)
(46:00) What about when kids ask questions that we weren’t prepared for?
(49:15) Live Q&A
4 Tips You Can Try Now
Adapted from Dr. Malloy’s video Working Apart, Coming Together.
1. Don’t AVOID talking about COVID-19 with your kids. Although you might be concerned that bringing up the subject will be harmful, research shows that the opposite can actually be true.
2. Encourage your kids to talk using open-ended questions. Our research shows that even preschool children can answer open-ended questions. You might ask them to tell you what they have heard or what they think about COVID-19. Ask them how they are feeling rather than leading yes/no questions like “Are you sad? Are you scared?”
3. Encourage your kids to ask you questions and try to answer them in a developmentally appropriate way. Don’t give them more information than they need. Simply address their questions.
4. Limit your children’s exposure to news and other media about the pandemic. This includes just having the news on in the background. Excessive media consumption about traumatic events is linked with negative outcomes like PTSD symptoms, and having a TV on in the background can affect young children’s play behavior and ability to focus – even if it seems like they are not paying attention to the TV.
Reflection Questions
Webinars and resources are all well and good, but having a ton of information is only as helpful as you can do something with it. Take a few moments to reflect on the following questions as you process the insights and tips that stood out most to you.
1. Which aspects of the PPE2 discussion do you think will be most helpful to you? Why?
2. What challenges do you face when talking to your child about the Covid19 pandemic?
3. Try a few “Tell me about X….You said X, tell me more about that” invitations to talk with your child. How did it go?
4. How has your communication with your child changed during the Covid19 pandemic?
5. What contexts have you found to be best for having sensitive discussions with your child (e.g., in the car, over dinner, while playing sports)?
6. What is your child afraid of, and have your child’s fears changed as a result of the pandemic?
Additional Resources We’ve Found Helpful
Articles + Books
How to Talk to Teens and Young Adults About Social Distancing (by Dr. Michelle Drouin)
Supporting Teenagers and Young Adults during the Coronavirus Crisis (by Caroline Miller at the Child Mind Institute)
Fear and Anxiety: An Age-By-Age Guide to Common Fears (by Karen Young)
Nine Tips for Talking to Kids About Trauma (by Kara Newman)
Right Now: I Am Fine (by Dr. Daniela Owen)
Videos
Meet Our Moderator
Lillian Rodriguez Steen
Lillian Rodriguez Steen is a doctoral candidate at Ontario Tech University and a member of the Development, Context, and Communication Lab working under the supervision of Dr. Lindsay Malloy. She earned her B.A. in Psychology from the University of Toledo. Lillian's research is focused broadly on child witnesses and developmentally appropriate interviewing techniques. Her dissertation focuses on the "ground rules" portion of investigative interviews with children. Specifically, she is examining methods for encouraging children to tell adults when they do not understand their questions. She hopes to use her research to inform policymakers and all those who question or work with children (e.g., researchers, teachers, doctors) on best practice guidelines for interviewing youth.
Pandemic Parenting is a collaboration between two psychologists, scholars, and moms committed to sharing their expertise and research in ways that are immediately accessible and useful to families. Learn more about Dr. Amanda Zelechoski and Dr. Lindsay Malloy.